his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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