I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Rumble strips road head = magical
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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