how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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