Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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