youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize