she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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