im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
