trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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