I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
