I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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