her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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