TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
