no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Life is so much better after having sex.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
