Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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