In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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