Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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