I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
