Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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