I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize