He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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