Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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