STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm passing your future prison.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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