Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize