Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
