I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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