i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
