So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
