spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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