those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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