He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
