Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
