i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
