yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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