Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
