He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
