Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
