We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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