Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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