i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
