just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
