oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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