Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
