I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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