Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we should paint friendship bongs
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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