I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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