"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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