singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
