Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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