before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
