Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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