I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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