I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize