I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
