Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
