Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
