We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
