Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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