Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
