He kissed a someone with a penis
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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