if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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