Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
