so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
