So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
operation harelip BJ is a go
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
