so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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