i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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