You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
please don't ironically join a cult
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