he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
