Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Randomize
