So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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